There is a country within a country in my heart. I lost my country long ago. It disappeared in unrevealed legends, untold stories, fictional characters, unknown heroes. It disappeared within me; it made space for another country to become my home. Is there a home? Where is your home? But yet it still exists, a country within my new country. It will never vanish; it will remain a silent voice, inspiration, a shadow. A prisoner of turbo folk culture, hostage of false history, captive of its own incapability to resist and make a difference. “And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn’t there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who’s to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you’re looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn’t be? There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night I sought to end that silence. More than four hundred years ago a great citizen’s hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. So if you’ve seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest you allow his memory to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a night that shall never, ever be forgot.” (Alan Moore, V for Vendetta) Every night I dream about my country, within a country. It is a formidable dream; it will never let me go. A prisoner of lost hopes, hostage of burdensome memories, captive of my own incapability to forget. “There’s no certainty – only opportunity. “ This is my opportunity to make a change. Do you need change?

I am contemplating this days my experience of being a mother…Angelina is two today, and I am praising every day spend with her. She just makes me better person every day. I don’t have words to express the feelings, but I will try to briefly tell you about my experience. First of all, its not hard, time consuming or challenging…Its a blessing, that you should embrace and use it to the maximum. Through your children’s eyes you can see how simple and beautiful world is! And that’s what I like it most! I don’t try to teach her anything, sometimes I have a feeling that they know much better than us about the importance of little things. I can still feel her little body in my hands after the delivery. The smell that nobody can describe, purity and nature.  The little fingers and the little mouth looking for my breast. And the eyes wide open, fixed to my eyes. The first time when we were alone, just me and her. And it somehow makes you brave and aware that you, and her can change the world, you, and her are the world! And then it just goes really fast, rolling, sitting, walking, running, driving a scooter. I am always surprised how she learns, and how adaptive a human being can be. I was really scared when we moved to England and she was only 13 month old. Just started bubbling on Macedonian. No English word so ever. But, just in one month, in a GP office, she answered a question on her own, she said the perfect British YEAH…She calls me MAMMY, wô’tər and many other silly Brit phrases ….Also, she speaks perfect Macedonian. But, that’s not it, she made me and Marko really aware of our relationship and how important is to be around your child. One day, while I was putting her to bed, I asked her, who shall be her mommy if I go on a trip, she was thinking for couple of sec. and said Daddy …And then she concluded, Mommy on a trip, Daddy Mommy with Dade (that’s her artistic name) … And there are many more anecdotes and stories, but non of them is polluted with the usual prejudice of parenthood imposed to us by the media and “oral” tradition. No I didn’t lose a night! No, I didn’t lost my freedom! No, I didn’t lost my career! I just became an extended body, which carries history of another body! I became a mother!

Денеска, навистина ми е многу мило што не сум во Македонија. Добив висока доза на антиносталгија.  Денеска додека на Плоштадот линчуваа деца,  јас моето го шетав низ Fishmarket по прогресивниот Bicycle Bazaar и уживавме во вештината на луѓето околу нас да ги направат обичните нешта магични соништа за другите.  И да Ви признаам искрено, во Септември 2008 со сопругот спакувавме куферите, нарамивме детето со штотуку наполнета година и му свртевме грб на се повидливиот национализам. Деца завиткани со знамиња маршираа низ улиците на мојот сончев град, и одеа на концерти кои изобилуваа со ново-пре-компонирана музика со високо национала конотација. Се надевав дека е тоа само миг, само трепкање на моите очи, и дека кога ќе дојдам следниот пат сето тоа ќе го нема. Денеска ја видов истата слика, но за жал мултиплицирана и не ми требаше многу да ја удрам математиката. Национализам+религија=седи си мадро, да не носиш модро. И на крајот на краиштата тоа што се случи денеска нема никаква врска ни со мојата национална, ни религиозна припадност. Денеска во Македонија умре демократијата,  а луѓето седат немо и си ццкаат по дома. И уште една народна:наведната глава сабја не ја сече. Е па аирлија демократија ( и тоа со ЕУ префикс, без пардон) !

It was quite amazing to hear something different and quite critical this Friday (20 March 2009). After being constantly bullied into and given a scare about the British educational system, I finally heard some worthwhile points and comments (especially about REF, publishing and AHRC). As an international student in UK everything is complicated to begin with. And doing a PhD is such a solitary experience. But, I have been traveling a bit and I did my Masters in USA, so I am familiar with change, challenge and differences. So, being stretch is something that I am welcoming constantly as an experience.  One thing that I can’t get though about the educational system in UK is why is perpetuating ready-served governmental ideas. So, I must say that on Friday I got a glimpse into something different and exciting. And especially for my field (practice led research) is important to dare preconception. So, well done! I can’t wait for some more.

http://www.journalofvisualculture.org/interdisciplinarity-arts-humanities.html

Finally, Recontres de boites is published and available to everyone that is interested in the work of CIE Kumulus and their almost 7 year long, international project “Meeting of Boxes”. There is a wonderful section dedicated to the project done in Skopje, Macedonia, in 2003, led by Elena Jovanova Marcevska. And also, Elena is a contributer writer to this wonderful, full color, collective book!

The Macedonian magazine of culture, art and social life “Kulturen Zivot” in its last August edition had published a section dedicated to blogging, communications and new media. All the published papers were presented at the Glocal 2.0. Conference. The paper of Elena Marcevska (“Blog as a Space for Alternative Culture Critique”) is part of this magazine issue.

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http://glocalconference.wordpress.com/

Blog as space for alternative cultural critique:
Creative collaborative/collective practices

Space is a resource, plain and simple. We all need it sometimes and in most contexts it is contested who and for what it will be used. In contemporary art and cultural production it is generally one element needed to facilitate community development and building (space for gathering). It can also be a site of production and distribution of cultural work and products (space for making/showing/sharing). When screen is used as site and a collaborative blog is created, it becomes even more evident that the creators (in this case bloggers) need to build upon itself experience and openness (institutionalize a kind of memory) that helps others to know what has happened in the past, in order to carefully and critically forge a path for the future.
The blog as space in its essence bares the factuality of exchange, collaboration and collective memory. Moreover, in the era of hyper mobility, these kinds of spaces for cultural critique could just be a flashing moment of youthful tinkering on a passageway to the next destination. The university system, the culture industry, and the service sector – these large industries of today are the economies that many artists and cultural workers are directly wrapped up in. They often urge people to move around a lot, to avoid being rooted, and to imagine community through a lens, which is about affinity and shared interest rather than geography. We can live anywhere at anytime. We can pick up and go freely. This can feel liberating at times. This dynamic can also present challenges for the creation of local culture, which needs to be cultivated and fostered over time. The question remains: How the blogs as space for cultural critiques can be used to foster a online commonality, that will make an impact on the local community?
My paper is a dialogue between different participants in creative collaborative blog practices.  I am looking at the collaboration between 16bever group and Brian Holmes on the blog “Continental Drift – The other side of neoliberal globalization” (http://brianholmes.wordpress.com/) and try to engage them in a conversation about the meaning of the blog as a space for alternative cultural critique.

Elena Marcevska will Present at International Performance Conference in New York City http://www.performingtheworld.org/

Elena Marcevska will be doing a lecture at Performing the World 2008, an international conference on performance and social development, being held in New York City, October 2-5. She will be delivering a paper entitled “Performing motherhood while working on the streets and intersection” .

Elena Marcevska, recently a mother herself, for the purposes of this project, is working with Roma mothers who are begging with their children on the streets and intersections of Skopje, the capital of Macedonia. Mostly they are judged by the majority passer buys as bad mothers. But what is the story behind? They don’t have health insurance, most of them are victims of family abuse, they are minors or very young and this is the only way they know for survival. Together with the artist they will develop T-shirts with messages that are reflecting their situation and wear (perform) them while they “work” on the streets. This will be documented, together with the reactions and send to organizations and government bodies that are dealing with these issues. Also, it will be published on line and exhibited in a gallery space, together with video diaries of mothers “working days”.

Performing the World 2008 is a unique “happening” of performances, workshops, panel discussions, lectures, community tours and improvisation. It brings together scholars and educators, social workers and psychologists, theatre artists and dancers, community activists and young people from around the world to learn from each other’s work. What this unusually diverse group of people have in common is a commitment to performance as a way of relating to, engaging and changing the world. Presenters are coming from 37 countries and 20 U.S. states.

Performing the World 2008 will take place throughout New York City, at the All Stars Project’s performing arts and development center on 42nd Street, near Times Square, at John Jay College for Criminal Justice, City University of New York, and at Bishop Laughlin High School in the Fort Greene section of Brooklyn. (Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz has declared Sunday, October 5 as “Performing the World in Brooklyn Day.”) Participants will be put up in homes through the New York City area. Saturday will feature talks, workshops and performances by and about youth, including an International Talent Show at John Jay College.

The conference is sponsored by two non-profit organizations based in New York City: the All Stars Project, Inc., which sponsors performance based development programs for young people and adults; and the East Side Institute for Group and Short Term Psychotherapy, an international research and training center for new approaches to human development, learning, therapy and community building.

“Gestation – a collaborative Performance Art Wokshop”, organized by the New York University in Skopje and subRosa, took place between 10th and 13th of June 2008, at the University campus in the suburb of Saraj. Topics of the workshop included issues of representing the female body in performance art and creating participatory projects within different cultural traditions. The workshop demonstrated how participants can create public awareness and input into social and cultural policy issues through participatory art actions. The public lecture, organized as collaboration between press to exit project space and the Department of communication and media, at the New York University Skopje include presentation of the workshop, the current work of subRosa as well as focus on the recent trends in tactical media arts.

subRosa is a collective of cultural producers committed to combining art, activism and politics to explore and critique the intersections of information and biotechnologies on women’s bodies, lives and work. subRosa has performed, exhibited, and lectured throughout the USA, the Netherlands, Germany, Mexico, Canada, and Singapore and has been commissioned as well as funded from the Creative Capital Foundation,

“We learn a place and how to visualize spatial relationships, as children, on foot and with imagination.
Place and the scale of space must be measured against our bodies and their capabilities.”
Gary Snyder (“Blue Mountains Constantly Walking”)

Tactical media is situational, ephemeral and self-terminating. It encourages the use of any media that will engage a particular social-political context in order to create intervention. This class will explore the history and production of interventionist performance projects that address critical social, political or personal issues or situations in diverse sites. Through the lecture the students will focus on strategies for working collaboratively to investigate creative forms of critical thought and presentation. Disciplines of performance, dance, movement, new media, research, and creative response will be examined in various forms and combinations. We will look at different examples of multidisciplinary projects that include elements of surprise, improvisation and audience participation, like Sasha Waltz’s “Korper” , Goat Island’s “When will the September roses bloom? Last night was only a comedy” and Critical Art Ensemble’s “Diseases of consciousness” . Reading and viewings survey discourse of the body through different tactical media theories and performative practices: feminism (subRosa), postcolonial theory (Coco Fusco), a history of the sense (Bertolt Brecht) and of the moving body (Eadweard Muybridge and “Walikng as knowing as making” project). This class will combine theory and practice, investigating forms of thought and presentation, styles of collaboration, historical and philosophical perspectives and methods of individual and collective expression and creativity by using the means of tactical media.

Presentation of the Lecture