Being a mother

I am contemplating this days my experience of being a mother…Angelina is two today, and I am praising every day spend with her. She just makes me better person every day. I don’t have words to express the feelings, but I will try to briefly tell you about my experience. First of all, its not hard, time consuming or challenging…Its a blessing, that you should embrace and use it to the maximum. Through your children’s eyes you can see how simple and beautiful world is! And that’s what I like it most! I don’t try to teach her anything, sometimes I have a feeling that they know much better than us about the importance of little things. I can still feel her little body in my hands after the delivery. The smell that nobody can describe, purity and nature.  The little fingers and the little mouth looking for my breast. And the eyes wide open, fixed to my eyes. The first time when we were alone, just me and her. And it somehow makes you brave and aware that you, and her can change the world, you, and her are the world! And then it just goes really fast, rolling, sitting, walking, running, driving a scooter. I am always surprised how she learns, and how adaptive a human being can be. I was really scared when we moved to England and she was only 13 month old. Just started bubbling on Macedonian. No English word so ever. But, just in one month, in a GP office, she answered a question on her own, she said the perfect British YEAH…She calls me MAMMY, wô’tər and many other silly Brit phrases ….Also, she speaks perfect Macedonian. But, that’s not it, she made me and Marko really aware of our relationship and how important is to be around your child. One day, while I was putting her to bed, I asked her, who shall be her mommy if I go on a trip, she was thinking for couple of sec. and said Daddy 🙂 …And then she concluded, Mommy on a trip, Daddy Mommy with Dade (that’s her artistic name) … And there are many more anecdotes and stories, but non of them is polluted with the usual prejudice of parenthood imposed to us by the media and “oral” tradition. No I didn’t lose a night! No, I didn’t lost my freedom! No, I didn’t lost my career! I just became an extended body, which carries history of another body! I became a mother!

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